Honestly, I am so angry right now.
It began a few hours ago when I clicked on a link on my facebook for an article about exercising for enjoyment, not the end goal of losing weight. I enjoyed that article and felt the change of focus from weight-loss to enjoyment and health was both pleasant and would be much nicer in everyday life.
From there I clicked on a link about fat-shaming and thin privilege. Not really new things to me, I experience it pretty regularly and found talking about the definitions around thin privilege (or why it can be classified as such) to be well thought out and clearly understandable.
But reading about other peoples experienced of fat-shaming really really made me mad.
It’s so disgusting that people seem to think it’s okay to treat someone like less of a person because of something as trivial as weight.
Maybe you don’t find fat people attractive. You know what? Fuck you, nobody cares. If you don’t want to date a fat person, go take your shallow-asshole self elsewhere coz fat people don’t need your shit.
Maybe you’re “only concerned about their health”. Well fuck that too, it’s their health, and you can’t know whether a person is healthy or not just by looking at them.
And these things go for skinny-shaming too, people who are skinny don’t necessarily need to “eat up” because they’re “sticks”. It’s probably just the way their body is and what made you think it was any of your goddamned business anyway?
I’ve had some pretty bad shit said to me because of my weight. I’ve heard of a lot worse from others, especially after tonight, and it just makes me so angry.
I feel like if I ever hear any of this shit in person things will really hit the fan.
The people that do this are surely either incredibly misguided, have issues with their own weight, or are just assholes. Right?
I’ve lost weight recently, and I’m happy about that because I need to in order to get to IVF. It’s nice to be fitting smaller clothes again, though I’ve still got a lot to lose. And sometimes I wonder if it’s right that people are so happy about it. I mean those that know why I’m actually doing it I’m less worried about. Though I’ll still get “and you’ll be so much healthier” comments… like, I’m so unhealthy now? The worst part of my health at the moment is my mental health which seems to be slowly breaking down under the pressure of comments like those, and constant feelings of failure. But those that don’t know I need to lose weight must just assume that I don’t like being fat. And generally I don’t, but it’s mostly because of the judgement, shame (both from others and from self-criticism), and discrimination that I feel just doing normal things, not the fact of being fat.
It’s wondering if you didn’t get the job because unconsciously the interviewers assumed you were lazy because you’re fat. It’s disgusted looks walking around the supermarket, because how dare you invade this public space with your gross fat presence. It’s feeling self-conscious with your husband who loves you for who you are not what you look like, because “guys don’t like fat chicks”, because apparently I have nothing to offer a man besides a thin body, and boy did I fail at that! It’s hoping you don’t offend anyone on public transport for sitting down, or godforbid eating, when those comforts should only really be given to those with the “discipline” to be thin instead of fat.
And it’s all bullshit.
When I talked to my doctor about what I eat, honestly (because of course people assume that fat people can’t be honest about what they eat, filthy liars), she said to me, that probably the most likely reason that I’ve gotten to the size that I am – is that I DON”T EAT ENOUGH. That I eat so little during the day that even eating a normal meal at night it screwing up my body and tricking it into thinking it’s starving. Starving = store fat to prevent death.
I really feel for all the people that have to deal with this. Whether it’s fat-shaming, skinny-shame, or just general hatred/dislike of your body, men and women. It’s ridiculous that we allow ourselves to live in a world where we feel like we’re not worthy as human beings because of a number on a scale, or a lump of fat on our amazing bodies. I certainly can’t purport that I have embraced fat acceptance or am immune from the awful feeling of being unacceptable. I’m still trying to work on giving myself the same care I can so easily give to others. But I try to remember: I am me, not my weight.