Being Valentine’s Day today, and with my new husband in a different state seeing family, my mind has wandered to romance.
My husband has long claimed to be non-romantic. I’m not sure if this is a “man thing” with the assumption being that romantic gestures are too touchy-feeling for ‘proper’ men to bother with. Or if he isn’t actually sure what romantic things are, and so doesn’t recognise for himself when he does them. And, a third possibility of course, is to lower my expectations so he doesn’t have to do anything grand.
Now, to give you some idea of where I’m coming from; here are some of the things that I think of when the word romance comes to mind:
Exhibit A: The man doesn’t cook, which is fine with me, he does the dishes and I’m happy. But, when I’m sick, or having a painful ‘time of the month’ he will often go out and get me dinner, or even, on occasion cook it himself so that I don’t have to.
Exhibit B: He always holds my hand when we are out. We have been together nearly 8 years now.
Exhibit C: Just before we recently got married, we had to change our ceremony from outdoors to indoors because the weather was just too hot. And he’s looked concerned and asked me if I was sure that was okay, to which I was like yeah it will be fine, we will still have a great day. And he said to me, that he thought he was more worried about things going well than I was, and when I asked why, he told me it was because he wanted it to be a perfect day for me.
And I dunno if that’s what most people would consider romance or not. But to me, these things matter more than any flowers, or fancy jewelery (though he does like to get me nice jewelery).
I know a lot of people, including those that know me, seem a bit weird that we just got married, and instead of going away together, my husband has gone for a trip without me. I won’t lie, it’s not easy being apart from him. But that would have been true whether we were married or not, and has been true in the past when he’s gone to see his family interstate. But we have practicalities to look after, our dog is an important one, and I don’t think she would go well in a kennel. I rather think that it speaks to their lack of trust though. Like the second we’re apart our love for each other is somehow going to disappear. It seems a bit ridiculous to me. Because I know, from the things that he does for me, those every day considerations; that he loves me, and I think that’s the most romantic thing you can have in a relationship.