Mother Superiority Complex

It’s a new moral dilemma for society. Are you worthy if you’re not a parent? If you don’t wish to become a parent? Obviously it’s a near impossible task to have sex and birth a baby. And so we meet the newest complex to hit the psychological market – mother superiority complex.

Commonly seen when someone has newly become a mum and deigns to impart her wisdom and struggles upon your now meaningless existence. But “you’ll understand when you get around to having your own” she’ll say with a smug smile and some poignant tips about nappies and baby supplies.

Now it’s not every mum that allows this common phenomenon to affect her outlook on life. But an increasing majority seem to be falling prey to the mindset that they are entitled to celebration bordering on worship from non-mum’s and children, for the trauma of raising a child.

 

Granted, pregnancy, giving birth, and raising a child to be a well-adjusted adult is a grueling process and requires parents to sacrifice time, money, energy, social outings and have many roles to play to do their job properly. And no doubt it is a job.

But except for unfortunate circumstances such as rape, or perhaps literal accidents like condoms breaking (rather than, “oh we just forgot to use protection”) these mum’s have chosen to have children. They have made the choice to bring a child into this world and they have a responsibility to care for them.

It’s not about saying parenting isn’t hard, or that single mum’s in particular don’t have a tough time. But if they can’t take on the responsibility of caring for a child without expecting the world to treat them like a miracle worker for doing so, they’re kidding themselves. You don’t buy a dog and then whinge and complain about the effort that it takes you to feed and walk and train them, and how you can’t just go on holidays for a week because you need to take care of your dog, you don’t walk around feeling all superior and entitled compared to non-dog owners because you have chosen to become a responsible pet owner.

Most people appreciate their mum’s and what they have done to raise and care for them. And so they should. But they’re not saints. They aren’t infallible humans or any wiser or superior to those without children. They are biological beings fulfilling a biological imperative by their own volition.

Advertisements